Post by Brandon Blaylock on Nov 28, 2006 9:54:09 GMT -5
Why do I have to fly over every town up and down the line?
I'll die in the clouds above and you that I defend I do not love
There is something inside of me that will never be repaired, and it broke over the course of my sophomore year. This world is shit and it treats me about the same. I'm fucking up in school but I could care less. Winter Monroe seems to be the only person I can talk to. Danielle doesn't want to see me, come near me. I nearly died, and the only thing I wanted was her to make things right. She never came. Why did I expect more? Always knew she'd be the one to break me. Not much I can do about that except be pissed off at the situation and distance myself. Mariella has her own problems to worry about, and since I started seeing Danielle, we haven't spoken. I don't blame her, though I miss her.
I'm leaving this fucking place.
I wake up, it's a bad dream, no one on my side
I was fighting but I just feel too tired to be fighting
Guess I'm not the fighting kind
Mia begs me to stay as a last resort. We're at the house, and we've been talking all night on the back porch as I attempt to explain why I'm doing what I'm doing. She begs again. I yell at her never to beg, never let anyone see that kind of desperation ever again. I tell her that Mom and Dad will survive, they have enough kids to fill the void. That's where Mia slaps me across the face in a fit of frustration. I grabbed her wrist, looking into her eyes that were welling with hot tears just begging to fall out and trickle down her reddening cheeks.
"I'll miss you, so hold it together and be tough will you?" I resign, pulling her into a hug. This is where Mia begins to sob uncontrollably in the school parking lot. I finally pry her off of me, make her promise one last time to not tell Mom and Dad what's happened until I'm long gone. She's never lied to our father before. I know how this is breaking her, but I can't help but continue in the mission I've set in my head and go forward regardless.
Where will I meet my fate?
Baby I'm a man I was born to hate
And when will I meet my end?
In a better time you could be my friend
I wake up, it's a bad dream, no one on my side
I was fighting but I just feel too tired to be fighting
Guess I'm not the fighting kind
Wouldn't mind it if you were by my side
But you're long gone, yeah you're long gone now
It's around midnight when Brandon pulls me into a hug and I breakdown for the first time in a long while. I feel like I'm loosing another brother even though now they suspect that Kano might not actually be dead. My family is falling apart when it should be coming together. Brandon's being a stubborn asshole.
Where do we go?
I don't even know my strange old face
I'm thinking about these days
I'm thinking about these days
Brandon walks aside of his motorcycle before he's halfway down the street, and the dull sound of the engine roars in the distance. I could scream right now, and the sound would wake my father sleeping upstairs and this could be over in a moment. I don't. I stand in the cold night, shivering under cotton pyjamas and a sweater I threw on before going outside.
There is a loyalty I hold to my brothers and sisters that Dad would never understand. I've never lied to him before, they've never put me in that position. Brandon was suffocating under the restraints that Dad's put on all of us since Kano went missing. I can barely handle it, but Brandon is suffering.
I can only hold my hands tightly together and pray to some unknown force that Brandon will be okay. He's a Blaylock after all.
I wake up, it's a bad dream, no one on my side
I was fighting but I just feel too tired to be fighting
Guess I'm not the fighting kind
Wouldn't mind it if you were by my side
But you're long gone, yeah you're long gone now